Does Ability Imply Obligation?
I have been guilty of taking on more than my fair share of external obligations for the past few, oh, years. I wonder if there are others of us out there who are willing to admit that we love the feeling of being helpful so much that we’ll break our backs to help others out. Part of peace, Pastor James McDonald has said, is knowing when to say when. (I paraphrase, but that’s the gist.) I know I’ve been guilty of thinking that business (busy-ness) is next to Godliness, sometimes—of playing Atlas. After swearing never to let that kind of thing happen again in a relationship with a significant other, I now realize the other areas where I’ve been guilty of trying to people-please by taking on projects.
Anyone else willing to own this one? 
March 3rd, 2006 at 04:38:35
I recognize this trait all too well. Practically speaking, sometimes knowing when to say when isn’t as difficult as knowing how to say when. There is a wonderful feeling I get when I help someone, it is undoubtedly linked to the pleasure center of my brain- which makes me feel like the end is selfish, despite the means. I’ve been finding it easier to let go of this compulsion these days by convincing myself the person is better off without my help- they grow more self-sufficient and independant.
Yes, I know this feeling…
March 5th, 2006 at 17:52:15
Thanks for your comment, Jeff. Yes, the knowing “how” to say “when” is really a difficult thing to do. I think we’re wired for pleasure when we help others; but chasing that pleasure for ourselves sometimes ends with us having to continue to help, when, as you say, they would have been better off without help because they would have had to learn. (Teach a man to fish, &c.)