ThinkBlog

In the days of slower, more “natural” communication, it wasn’t uncommon for the blossom of a new relationship to unfurl over the course of multiple years: the boy who grew up on the farm next to the girl finds he’s in love with her after fifteen years; the pen-pal of the girl in Germany goes to visit her only to find that he’s been enamored throughout their communiqués.

Not so the Internet Age, where information is cheap and quick, even about each other.

I was just taking a glance through the bulletins on MySpace, and was struck by the almost-elementarily “uncivilized” communication that takes place through these things. (Civilization here is meant to give a barrier, you see, to undue familiarity.) For instance, here is one “survey” that users are supposed to re-post with their own answers, asking others to respond in kind:

Subject: Fill This Out About Me!
Body:

Fill this out about me and send it bak *BUT FIRST* Send A Blank Copy To All Of Your Friends (Including Me) So They Can Fill It Out About You! Got It?? BE HONEST!!!

please do it im sorta curious

AM I??

1. Quiet / Loud?

2. Short / Tall?

3. Weird / Original

4. Nice / Mean

5. Friendly / Selfish

6. Normal / “Special”

7. Smart / Stupid

8. Boring / Fun

9. Attractive / Unattractive

DO YOU THINK I’M…

1. A psycho?:

2. A nerd?:

3. An asshole?:

4. Ghetto?:

5. A faggot?:

6. Two-faced?:

7. Obnoxious?:

8. Immature?:

9. Mature?:

11. Moody?:

12. Stoner?:

13. Alcoholic?

15. Lovable?:

JUST SOME QUESTIONS

1. What do u think I’ll be when I grow up?:

2. (a) Do u think I’ll get married?:

(b) If u do..who do u think I’ll marry?:

3. When is my birthday?:

4. Who is my best friend?:

5. What song (if any) reminds u of me?:

6. Do I remind u of any characters on TV?:

7. If u could rename me…what would my name be?:

8. Have u ever had a dream about me?:
what was it?

10. If u could give me anything…what would it be?:

11. If u could promise me anything..what would it be?:

12. If you could have anything that I have what would it be?:

PERSONAL(OPPOSITE SEX)

1. Would u ever kiss me?:

2. Would u ever consider being my boyfriend?:

3. Do u ever think about me just randomly?:

4. If we spent a day together.where would we go and what would we do?:

5. If u could describe me in one word…what would that word be?:

6. (a)Do u or have u ever had a crush on me?:

(b)Do u still have a crush on me?

7. u KNOW u want me?:

8. (a)Do u think u would have a chance with me?:

(b)Would I have a chance with u?:

9.If I asked you out what would you say?:

10.(a)If I told u I loved you would it change our relationship?:

(b)If yes how?:

11.If you could change anything about me what would it be?:

**EVERYBODY**

1. Do u wish we were closer?

2. What is your complete opinion of me?

Wait, say again? What is your COMPLETE opinion of me? Do you really want to know?

Here’s another, for your amusement and pleasure:

WOULD YOU…
[_] give me your number?
[_] kiss me?
[_] let me kiss you?
[_] watch a movie with me?
[_] take me out to dinner?
[_] let me drive you somewhere
[_] cut some rug with me?
[_] take a shower with me?
[_] have a fling with me?
[_] Sing car karaoke w/ me?
[_] re-post this for me to answer your questions?
[_] give me a piggyback ride?
[_] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere
[_] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[_] lick my cheek?
[_] dance with me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] tickle me to death?
[_] let me tickle you?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] instant message me?
[_] greet me in public?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bring me around your friends?

D0 Y0U…
[_] think im cute?
[_] think im hot?
[_] want to kiss me?
[_] want to cuddle wit me?
[_] want to hook up with me?

AM i…
[_] smart?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] loveable?
[_] adorable?
[_] compassionate?
[_] great to be with?
[_] attractive?
[_] odd?

HAVE Y0U EVER…
[_] thought about me?
[_] thought about hookin up with me?
[_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[_] wished i were there?
[_] grabbed me?
[_] had a crush on me?
[_] idolized me?
[_] wanted my number?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?

ARE Y0U…
[_] happy you know me?
[_] mad at me?
[_] thinkin bout me?
[_] going to repost this so that i will return the favor

Please, anyone, let me know if this strikes you as a very elaborate version of the classic, third-grade, “DO YOU LIKE ME CHECK YES[] NO[]” note-passed surveys.

To me, and granted, YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary), it seems this kind of information is better-received when passed person-to-person, confidentially, actually in-person, and over the course of, say, two or three years. Shouldn’t you know if the person “has a chance with you”? Shouldn’t you be talking tenderly—I don’t care what the sex or orientation—about “what you would change about me” over a nice cup of coffee or tea late some night when it’s just you two under the vast sunset or diamond-strewn velvet cloth of night?

There are countless surveys like this one that are just as open-ended, just as intimate. One is entitled, “REPOST AND PUT AND HIGHLIGHT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!!” Another is a “which-movies-have-you-seen” type survey, and so many others are general question surveys with more or fewer questions that touch a person’s soul.

What does it say about society that we love to see and share these intimate things about ourselves? We haven’t gotten any more trustworthy; do we just crave intimacy so much that we post these things so that we can feel like we know one another to a greater or lesser extent with each passing query?

I would answer these questions myself, but I’m too busy answering surveys. See you on MySpace!

In the days of slower, more “natural” communication, it wasn’t uncommon for the blossom of a new relationship to unfurl over the course of multiple years: the boy who grew up on the farm next to the girl finds he’s in love with her after fifteen years; the pen-pal of the girl in Germany goes to visit her only to find that he’s been enamored throughout their communiqués.

Not so the Internet Age, where information is cheap and quick, even about each other.

I was just taking a glance through the bulletins on MySpace, and was struck by the almost-elementarily “uncivilized” communication that takes place through these things. (Civilization here is meant to give a barrier, you see, to undue familiarity.) For instance, here is one “survey” that users are supposed to re-post with their own answers, asking others to respond in kind:

Subject: Fill This Out About Me!
Body:

Fill this out about me and send it bak *BUT FIRST* Send A Blank Copy To All Of Your Friends (Including Me) So They Can Fill It Out About You! Got It?? BE HONEST!!!

please do it im sorta curious

AM I??

1. Quiet / Loud?

2. Short / Tall?

3. Weird / Original

4. Nice / Mean

5. Friendly / Selfish

6. Normal / “Special”

7. Smart / Stupid

8. Boring / Fun

9. Attractive / Unattractive

DO YOU THINK I’M…

1. A psycho?:

2. A nerd?:

3. An asshole?:

4. Ghetto?:

5. A faggot?:

6. Two-faced?:

7. Obnoxious?:

8. Immature?:

9. Mature?:

11. Moody?:

12. Stoner?:

13. Alcoholic?

15. Lovable?:

JUST SOME QUESTIONS

1. What do u think I’ll be when I grow up?:

2. (a) Do u think I’ll get married?:

(b) If u do..who do u think I’ll marry?:

3. When is my birthday?:

4. Who is my best friend?:

5. What song (if any) reminds u of me?:

6. Do I remind u of any characters on TV?:

7. If u could rename me…what would my name be?:

8. Have u ever had a dream about me?:
what was it?

10. If u could give me anything…what would it be?:

11. If u could promise me anything..what would it be?:

12. If you could have anything that I have what would it be?:

PERSONAL(OPPOSITE SEX)

1. Would u ever kiss me?:

2. Would u ever consider being my boyfriend?:

3. Do u ever think about me just randomly?:

4. If we spent a day together.where would we go and what would we do?:

5. If u could describe me in one word…what would that word be?:

6. (a)Do u or have u ever had a crush on me?:

(b)Do u still have a crush on me?

7. u KNOW u want me?:

8. (a)Do u think u would have a chance with me?:

(b)Would I have a chance with u?:

9.If I asked you out what would you say?:

10.(a)If I told u I loved you would it change our relationship?:

(b)If yes how?:

11.If you could change anything about me what would it be?:

**EVERYBODY**

1. Do u wish we were closer?

2. What is your complete opinion of me?

Wait, say again? What is your COMPLETE opinion of me? Do you really want to know?

Here’s another, for your amusement and pleasure:

WOULD YOU…
[_] give me your number?
[_] kiss me?
[_] let me kiss you?
[_] watch a movie with me?
[_] take me out to dinner?
[_] let me drive you somewhere
[_] cut some rug with me?
[_] take a shower with me?
[_] have a fling with me?
[_] Sing car karaoke w/ me?
[_] re-post this for me to answer your questions?
[_] give me a piggyback ride?
[_] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere
[_] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[_] lick my cheek?
[_] dance with me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] tickle me to death?
[_] let me tickle you?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] instant message me?
[_] greet me in public?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bring me around your friends?

D0 Y0U…
[_] think im cute?
[_] think im hot?
[_] want to kiss me?
[_] want to cuddle wit me?
[_] want to hook up with me?

AM i…
[_] smart?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] loveable?
[_] adorable?
[_] compassionate?
[_] great to be with?
[_] attractive?
[_] odd?

HAVE Y0U EVER…
[_] thought about me?
[_] thought about hookin up with me?
[_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[_] wished i were there?
[_] grabbed me?
[_] had a crush on me?
[_] idolized me?
[_] wanted my number?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?

ARE Y0U…
[_] happy you know me?
[_] mad at me?
[_] thinkin bout me?
[_] going to repost this so that i will return the favor

Please, anyone, let me know if this strikes you as a very elaborate version of the classic, third-grade, “DO YOU LIKE ME CHECK YES[] NO[]” note-passed surveys.

To me, and granted, YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary), it seems this kind of information is better-received when passed person-to-person, confidentially, actually in-person, and over the course of, say, two or three years. Shouldn’t you know if the person “has a chance with you”? Shouldn’t you be talking tenderly—I don’t care what the sex or orientation—about “what you would change about me” over a nice cup of coffee or tea late some night when it’s just you two under the vast sunset or diamond-strewn velvet cloth of night?

There are countless surveys like this one that are just as open-ended, just as intimate. One is entitled, “REPOST AND PUT AND HIGHLIGHT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!!” Another is a “which-movies-have-you-seen” type survey, and so many others are general question surveys with more or fewer questions that touch a person’s soul.

What does it say about society that we love to see and share these intimate things about ourselves? We haven’t gotten any more trustworthy; do we just crave intimacy so much that we post these things so that we can feel like we know one another to a greater or lesser extent with each passing query?

I would answer these questions myself, but I’m too busy answering surveys. See you on MySpace!